Song of America
June 1987
Sparks and debris flew as we landed back on earth in the emerald green1978 Chevrolet Estate Wagon equipped with imitation wood grain side panels. I watched in shock as Christine's head pushed up against the vinyl ceiling and then her 95 pound body came crashing back down compressing in to the seat cushion! I guess Droopy didn't see the Miami street dip for water runoff!
Droopy is what we later nicknamed our Miami taxi driver. You remember, the cartoon dog that was mild mannered until finally he would calmly say, “You know what? That makes me mad”, and then completely freak out! Here's how we came to be airborne in the back seat of the flying green wagon .
We were due to fly from LAX to Miami that night after our wedding reception. We had so much fun at our reception that time got away from us. On the way to L.A. we stopped by Christine's house to get our bags.
One of the bag's zipper busted as we attempted to close it so we had to repack. I suppose we didn't need two whole bags for lingerie anyway, but we still brought them and 5 other bags too!
Our flight was scheduled to leave at 11:30 PM and we arrived at 11:15. We went straight to the departure counter for now defunct Eastern Airlines. The newbie behind the counter said that we had missed our flight but she would try to get us on another one that night. After about 15 minutes of searching and asking others to help, she told us that the earliest flight wouldn't get us to MIA until 4:30 PM the following day! Our ship left at 5 PM! I explained that we were on our honeymoon and that by the time we got to the seaport from MIA we would miss our cruise. She agreed to see where our original flight was at that moment. She stated that the plane was just backing away from the gate! We were furious but there was nothing we could do. She booked us on the next flight and wished us good luck.
The flight left the following morning at 7:30 AM so we needed to find a hotel for the night. We were in the middle of L.A. and we didn't have a clue how to find one. After lugging around 7 bags the lingerie bags started to feel really heavy. About 1 AM we got to a hotel it was a dive , but we were too tired to do anything about it. We hadn't eaten since breakfast, which was about 16 hours earlier because we had been running around all day for wedding day activities. We went to bed starving.
The following morning, as we went back to LAX and checked in. It turns out that the agent the night before had booked us just one seat. About 15 minutes before boarding there was an announcement that stated that there had been a computer error and the flight was overbooked. We went back to the counter and explained to the counter agent that we were on our honeymoon and had to catch that flight if we were to have any chance to board the cruise ship. About that time another announcement called for “open boarding” and that anyone that had a ticket was to get on the plane and take a seat, first come first serve!
We started to run to get seats but the agent told us to stop. We waited as she typed. After what seemed like an eternity out came our seating assignments. We boarded and there was a young couple in our seats. They didn't want to leave until the flight attendant asked them to. We were in the smoking section and neither of our air vents worked! We were both so stressed that we couldn't eat the rubbery pancakes, greasy sausage and runny eggs that they served.
During the flight I asked a couple of flight attendants how long it takes to get from MIA to the Miami Seaport. They both stated that it would be impossible to make it on time! We were SICK! Finally I asked a male flight attendant what he thought. He helped us put together a game plan. As soon as we land and was rolling down the runway he would allow us to stand up, grab our bags from the overhead bins and head to the front of the plane. Next we should RUN to the baggage area. He told us the fastest way to get there. He said that if a miracle happens our luggage would be on the first cart. Then we should RUN to the first taxi in the long line of taxis and explain our plight. If everything went perfectly, he said, we MIGHT make it.
Upon landing we headed to the front of the plane. When the door opened we sprinted to the baggage claim area. Our 7 pieces of luggage were on the conveyer all alone! We grabbed them and ran to the first taxi outside the door. The trunk was open so we threw our luggage in and jumped in the car. The driver was standing outside the building having a cigarette. He shouted, “Wrong taxi!”, and motioned toward the long line of taxis in front of his. We unloaded and ran to the front taxi. Droopy was sitting in the driver's seat reading a newspaper. We loaded our luggage into the station wagon and hopped in the back seat. He seemed to listen intently while looking at us in the rear view mirror, as we explained the situation.
Droopy calmly said with a strong southern drawl, “Y'all better fasten your safety belts!” I looked out the rear window as the other drivers stared in amazement as Droopy lit up the tires like he was driving a dragster station wagon. As we left MIA we drifted sideways across all four lanes of the Miami Turnpike!
As we were heading up a long hill toward a bridge we noticed that he was looking down toward his lap and doing something. We skidded to a stop at the toll booth and threw what must have been exact change into a bowl. The gate raised and we were off again in a cloud of smoke!
Once we got onto the surface streets it really started getting crazy! We stared in amazement as a mom and dad, crossing the street, grabbed their young children and yanked them by the hands back on to the sidewalk as we flew by with Droopy honking the horn wildly. As I turned to look back we hit THE DIP! Bang! The wagon bottomed out and then bounced up. We felt our lap belts tighten against our hips as a few pennies and a Tootsie Roll sprang up off the floor.
I glanced at the speedometer as we flew down the middle lane of a three-lane, one-way street at 75 mph. As we were getting near the seaport we blew past a Miami Police car who was going about 30 mph! “Just like something in Miami Vice”, I thought to myself. Much to our surprise the officer never did anything.
At exactly 5 PM we pulled in to the parking lot and noticed that there were no crowds, no long lines, no buses, just workers washing of the sidewalks. No sight of the ship. Droopy said, this time in an excited voice, “I'm gonna take y'all around to the ship! (In those days often times the terminal building was bigger than the ship so we assumed at that point that the ship had left.) We raced around a few barriers and a gate and skidded to a halt right next to the ship where there was a small metal plank and two officers. You should have seen the surprised look on their faces when Droopy jumped out and shouted, “These folks are getting' on da ship!”
We looked up and noticed that the decks above were filled with happy passengers throwing confetti and drinking beers and champagne. The officers kindly explained that boarding stopped at 4:30 pm and we were too late. Droopy said again, this time is a sad tone, “Yeah, but these folks need to get on the ship.” One of the officers started talking on the radio, in what sounded like Norwegian, for what seemed like an eternity. At that time we noticed that everyone on the decks above were dead silent as if straining to hear the conversation. All we could hear was the station wagons V-8 tinging as it cooled off. Suddenly the officers said with a smile, “Welcome aboard” The crowds above erupted in cheers and applause as the officers motioned for us to come aboard. Droopy kept saying over and over, “These folks are getting' on da ship!” I gave him a wad of cash. To this day I'm not sure how much I gave him, but whatever it was I'm convinced it wasn't enough.
We went straight to our stateroom and collapsed on the bed. Within moments of laying down the ship's horns blasted and over the intercom came an announcement telling all passengers to report to their muster stations for a lifeboat drill. Afterward we staggered to our room and collapsed again this time falling fast asleep. Soon after came a bing-bong-bing and an announcement with a British accent, “Dinner is served in the Main Dining Room.”
For the rest of the cruise people would come up to us and say, “Hey you're the couple that almost missed the ship. You must be honeymooners.”
Ever since then we have been addicted to cruising. We love it! Thanks Droopy!
Travel Tip: It is best to spend the night in a hotel the night before your cruise departs.
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