MONKEY PEE, MONKEY POO Written by Eddie

Belize
Feb. 2011
This day started like any other day. Well, except that we woke up as our Royal Caribbean cruise ship shuttered a bit as we maneuvered between the islets and rocks off the coast of Belize. It was like any other day, okay well, beside the fact that we were on a Caribbean cruise with some 40 of our BFF's. Oh, and the fact that I could barely get out of bed because I had helped to move a 1” slate pool table just before the trip... But, I'll save that story for another day.

After we tendered to shore as a group (Christine always makes sure we all get an early tender as a group), we boarded a bus and merrily headed out into the jungle of Belize.  Oh wait, it wasn't that simple!  As we were getting on the bus I heard two of our local guides chatting and saying something about, “Praise Jah”.  Hoping to do a bit of witnessing I said, “Oh, we all praise Jah too!”  Their eyes got big but they didn't say a word.  As we got ready to head inland on the bus the lead guide, speaking through a microphone, said, “Before our trip we would like to ask God for his help to arrive safely.” After he said a prayer aloud he said angrily, “Why didn't any of you say amen to my prayer?”  We started speaking all at once trying to soften the situation. Kitzi suggested that one of our brothers say a prayer.  One of the brothers stood up and spoke in the microphone.  In his prayer he included the guides.  All of us hoped that that might have softened his heart. 

For an hour and a half we had to hear the history of Belize with anti-government slant. If one of us dared to close our eyes to rest he would suggest that we stay awake if we wanted to learn something.  All the while his girlfriend/fiance, who was one of the guides, was very angry with him and even refused to sit next to him on the way home.  One by one nearly all of us tried witnessed to him during the trip!

Along the way we saw a few spider monkeys sitting on walls outside homes and we briefly stopped to look at the local Assembly Hall. Eventually we arrived at a nondescript building along  the New River. We boarded two motor boats and set off to who-knows-where. You see, this was a mystery tour that was included in the vacation package. (Of course, we put the whole thing together so we knew where we were going.) We raced at breakneck speed winding round and round, first left, then right, then left, again and again, through the thick jungle until, lo and behold, a glimpse of our destination.  Across a lake, poking out above the top of the jungle canopy, we could see the tops of the Mayan temples of Lamanai! (submerged crocodile in Mayan)  There were gaping jaws and gasps and someone shouted, “Look, a pyramid!” The guides must have thought we were a bit off.  I mean, who travels to a foreign land, drives for 90 minutes and then races up a river for 45 minutes and has no clue where they are going?

We all headed to an area with picnic tables under a large thatched roof and enjoyed a delicious home cooked Belizean meal of chicken, rice and beans that the guides had kindly packed in ice chests and brought with us.  I noticed that some of the guides bowed their heads and said amen to our prayer. They seemed to enjoy themselves as well.

As we walked through the jungle we would stop in front of different ruins, including a few temples, and the guide would share some interesting facts about them. At one point we stopped by some ruins and some of us walked under a large tree to get some shelter from the warm tropical heat.  A guide noticed where we were standing and said, as he motioned up into the tree, “Remember, monkey pee, monkey poo.” If you recall I had hurt my back so I walked hunched over and tilted way over to one side. To relieve some of the pain I would rest my wrist on my hip with palm facing skyward.  There I stood in the shade thinking to myself that I hoped that the pain killer would kick in soon.  As if the monkey heard the guide warns us, on cue I felt something warm and heavy plop right into the palm of my hand!  Talk about adding insult to injury!  For the rest of the afternoon everyone watched in horror as I wiped my hand against trees, leaves and rocks, yuck!

Next we walked a bit further to see the main temple a massive structure, the Temple of the Jaguar.  One of the most spectacular things about this site is that you can still climb the largest temple that soars some 200 feet above the forest floor.  Many in the group climbed the ruins including Cita, Devon, Jacob, and even me with my twisted back. (Yes! The Vicodin finally kicked in just in time.)  All the while we could hear howler monkeys in the trees above us. Now, though they are called howler monkeys, they might more accurately be called “growler” monkeys.  They don't screech or chirp like most monkeys.  They let out a terrifying growl that sounds more like a bear growling through a metal tube.  As we were walking down the trail back to the boat Stephanie stopped and said nervously, “What is that?”  We told her that they were howler monkeys.  Her eyes got big and then she said, “No, monkeys don't sound like that!” We assured her that those sounds were monkeys.  She insisted that someone must have put loudspeakers in the trees and were trying to scare us.  She sure walked fast back to the boats.

 Whenever it is that you have your next, or even first adventure with the Score's, always keep in mind; don't drink the water, don't wear flip flops in the rainforest and “Monkey pee...” Well you know.